The Gift of Patience

Patience.....the definition of this word, according to Google, is "capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset".

I have to say, this is one gift that has not come easily to me. I am a get-it-done-now kind of girl. I like to get to where I'm going, do what I have to do, have a detailed timeline of how long it's going to take me, and when all that doesn't quite pan out, I don't always get angry or upset, but I want to know what the delay is, why it's happening, and what I can do to get around it or solve the issue causing the delay.  What I don't like is to wait around for things to happen, or for it to take forever for something to get done.  I don't like that a lot!

Now, you may think this post is going to move on to slam the medical system and the delays in doctor's offices or the wait for tests and procedures, but you would be wrong.  For the most part, I've been pretty happy with that.  I don't think there's a single person that I know that doesn't expect to wait at least 20 minutes to see a doctor, or at least a week or two for a test or procedure at a hospital. That's something we've all come to expect.

What I am referring to is my own inabilities due to cancer treatments.  While I am nearly through with chemotherapy now (only one treatment left to go), I still have issues with tiredness, occasional brain fuzziness, and general soreness that comes with chemo.  And because of this, I just can't do everything I used to, and THAT drives me crazy!  The fact that I have to wait for the kids to come home from school so that we can do some of the housecleaning chores of old, the fact that I have to get my husband to drive me on the 4 hour return trip for treatments, and the fact that it takes me sooooo long to do things that would only take minutes previously is frustrating!  And there goes my patience....right out the window!

But I have to say, that I am getting better with this.  I have learned that slowing down a bit is not such a bad thing.  I've also learned getting upset about things that would previously have driven me crazy, doesn't hurt anyone else but me.  I can't change the fact that it takes me almost an hour to shower and get dressed in the morning, so why get angry?  I wasn't going anywhere except to pick up the mail anyway.  I also know that it's nice to see the kids helping out as much as they do without the usual complaining.  And besides, those long road trips to the city for treatments with my husband?  It's good couple time and in the words of one of my friends who just finished her cancer treatments, she'll take date time with her husband in whatever form it comes!  Me too!