Why gifts?

I have a feeling that when some people read the title of this blog, they are going to recoil with a variety of emotions; anger, disgust, interest, admonition, etc.  But let me explain why I chose this title.

I try and live my life with an optimism that good things happen to good people and so, when I was diagnosed with breast cancer in June of 2014, I was very determined to conquer it with a super-positive, kick-butt attitude.  And during the early days of tests, biopsies, lumpectomy and additional tissue excision, I was solid.  With a firm, positive attitude intact, I sailed through it all, knowing my right attitude would be my guide.  And then chemotherapy came my way, which is where I currently reside.

I never thought it would affect me so easily.  While it's been said a hundred times, it really does make you wonder how something that is going to make you better makes so feel soooo much sicker than you did before it started.  Maybe sicker isn't quite the right word for me.  In fact, I had no nausea, vomiting, etc. Perhaps a better word is wrong.  Chemo made me just feel wrong.  I felt a definite change in my energy and my sense of control.  I can't help feel that I'm not quite captain of my own ship, and that the chemo pirates don't quite know how to sail the old girl.  I'm usually insanely busy and on-top-of-my-game, but now I feel uncertain about my own abilities and want to second-guess myself.  And that's just not me.

It was during one of these moods that I realized, that while there are changes going on and will continue to go on through the course of chemo and beyond, I need to appreciate that maybe some changes are a mixed blessing and I need to keep myself focused on the positive attitude and optimism that I have lived a life with.  Hell, that focus has gotten me through a lot of stuff in the past, so why not now too?

And that brings me to the title.  I really feel that there are gifts to be found and cherished with any adversity we face in life.  The old adage, "what doesn't kill us makes us stronger", still rings true for me.  I think that as I go through this cancer journey, there are gifts to unwrap that I may not have noticed or appreciated before.

And so, as I continue to post on this blog, I hope that my readers might just find a gift of their own in whatever their circumstances or adversity.

And what the heck?  It's nearly Christmas...and don't we all like gifts at this time of year?