In reality, the timeline for procedures wasn't slow at all, it just felt slower because it was happening to me. With my sister, I was busy with my daily activity and adding her cancer diagnosis to my schedule seemed to make time speed up for me, but probably not for her. I was very concerned about what was happening with her while managing a principalship and a family of five. Things were hectic, and it seemed like there were so many things that happened one after another in rapid succession. In fact, it was well over a year that she went through surgeries, treatments, etc.
For me, like many people, time comes to a standstill when something huge happens in your own life, and yet, in retrospect, it hasn't even been a year since the lump in my breast was found, and here I am, in the midst of radiation, which is the last leg of my year of treatment. While it hasn't always been easy, I really think the key for me to manage my cancer treatments has been to keep myself busy with a multitude of activity. Of course, there were days when sleep was essential and I didn't stray far from my bed, but when it was possible, I had to keep myself going with projects and activities.
I have to chuckle when I think back to when I decided to take sick leave from work at the end of January. My husband was a little concerned that I was going to go stir-crazy from a lack of things to do. His suggestion was a "bucket list" of things I wanted to accomplish while on leave. I made a list of small things (no mountain climbs or hikes through deserts for me). I looked at that list the other day. I have gotten to a few things on it, but to be honest, I have been too busy to get to everything. I am happy to say that I haven't spent a single day couch potato-ing, that I have only watched a total of three movies in the daytime when my family was at school, and that I made a point of getting outside every single day, if only to go pick up the mail or a carton of milk.
I think that for me, the key to recovery was to keep myself busy with things that were manageable at the time. Some days that meant baking cookies for the kids, other days that meant rototilling the garden or shoveling the driveway. But it was essential that there was always something, some goal that was going to be accomplished that day. I was determined that wasn't going to spend my days sitting around. I felt that I needed to be moving around and keeping myself busy. I had time in the evening to crotchet and watch tv with my kids or watch a movie with a bowl of popcorn with my husband; my daytime needed to be more than that. And the busier I kept myself, the quicker time moved from one appointment to the next, from one chemo treatment to the next, and from one weekend to the next.
As for the rest of the bucket list items, I still have 4 weeks of radiation and a summer holiday to get to them!
BUCKET LIST...created on December 30, 2014
Things I've done...
- afghan with leftover yarn
- do more writing
- start walking program
- read good books
Things I've yet to do....
- frame family photos for the basement (this summer)
- organize dance stuff (this June)
- play more guitar (fingers too sore with nails peeling...maybe this summer at the firepit)
